The title of this work came about through the attempt to interpret a misheard word from the back of a concert hall. It was worked out, following a vigorous research campaign, that the word in question was in fact ‘funambulist’. That’s another story, but I was delighted to discover that the phrase ‘Terra Porcus Lux’ is a genuine piece of ‘pig’ Latin used (unofficially) to refer to Groundhog Day. With apologies to Punxsutawney Phil (now reported to be over 122 years old) I offer these three portions to virtuoso violinist, and qualified chef, Doreen Cumming.